Hi, you are “face to face with Shell”.
First of all, have you seen the first part of this series? If not, please click on the link below to take a look:
WHEN FAMILY/FRIENDS HURT (PART 1)
In this series I am taking you through situations; whereby family or friends have made hurtful comments to me. I was burned when I was 13 years old in a gas explosion, whilst on holiday in Spain with my family.
Here, I am going to talk about another example, which is more of actions, than of words:
While Chris (my husband) and I were travelling, we worked voluntarily in exchange for food and board, in between being “on the road”.
One evening, a couple who we were working for, took us to a music festival in the next town; we had worked with this couple for two seasons and we all had become quite good friends. It was a lovely evening and we were having a really great time.
The woman asked me if I would get up to dance with her, as her “wing woman”. She wanted to dance seductively in front of this group of guys (yeah, her partner was with us). Anyway, she explained that she didn’t have the confidence to go up herself and wanted me beside her, until she got her confidence up.
Ok, we have all asked someone to come with us when we didn’t feel that confident. She was very beautiful and always got attention. I felt like I was being used though. I felt that she knew that beside me, she would look “the better one” and the guys would be looking at her, which they did.
After about half a song, I was no longer needed, so I left her to it and joined Chris and her partner. I felt slightly down, not because I didn’t get attention but because I was used and knew I had been used.
I felt disheartened but I also gave a thought to her husband who was sitting watching this!
I just thought to myself; “ah well, if that is what she needs to do to make herself feel better, so be it” and I got on with enjoying the evening. It said more about her than it did me. No one really knows what others are going through though.
Looking back; I felt sorry for her, the fact that she felt she needed to act the way she did. She was beautiful, bubbly, fun…such a shame.
Later on in the evening, we moved onto another stage where a heavy rock band were playing. Just up mine and Chris’ street. The woman’s partner also liked this kind of music. I love heavy rock/metal and I just let the music take over me. I got up to dance straight away and the woman came with me. I wasn’t caring who was looking or what “attention” I was getting; I just wanted to dance…this was MY thing.
I could see that she wasn’t enjoying it and she really looked out of her comfort zone. She didn’t need to join me but it was good that she did.
On reflection, I think she kind of realised what she had done but I am not too sure. It did hurt. I was being used and I knew it but didn’t want to say “no” to her, as I could see that she wanted to dance.
Should I have gotten up with her? Would I do it again? Yes, I would but I think I would make a comment to her in a jovial way; something like: “Ah, you know that you are going to get the attention, why do you need me”?
Try not to let things like this bother you and if they do, try not to hang onto them for too long. Sometimes it may not be meant and other times it will, you will learn to know the difference. I feel that it says more about the other person, rather than you, in whatever circumstance.
People have to deal with situations like this every day, whether they look different or not; try to bear this in mind. It does make it harder if you look different. Hey who cares! Just think; “well, they will always remember me”!
You are stronger than you think.
Stay strong and we’ll chat soon.