Hi, you are “face to face with Shell”.
CONFIDENCE TO GO OUT ON YOUR OWN
Ok, you have mastered going out with other people. You have the confidence to go out with others and you feel ok letting others see you, see your scars, you might even be ok with others saying things to you and staring at you.
IT’S A WHOLE DIFFERENT STORY WHEN YOU HAVE TO GO OUT ON YOUR OWN
Before you watch the next video, have you seen the other pages in this series? Please click on the links below to view:
WEARING SCARS WITH CONFIDENCE (PART 1)
WEARING SCARS WITH CONFIDENCE (PART 2)
WEARING SCARS WITH CONFIDENCE (PART 3)
WEARING SCARS WITH CONFIDENCE (PART 4)
Please watch the next video below and/or read on:
So, once you have gone out with others…the next challenge…going out on your own…this for me was a huge next step for me.
There is no one else with you, no one to “shield” you if things get uncomfortable or if you get upset by someone else’s behaviour towards you.
So how do you deal with going out on your own?
My first outing was to a friend’s house. I had “pre-arranged” the visit with them, therefore, knew that they would be there. I knew all I had to do was to walk down to their house.
What made it easier was that this was in my home village, where everybody knew me and knew what had happened to me; this made things a whole lot easier when I first started going out.
It still took a lot of “guts” to do it and to go out on my own, with no one else beside me for support, however, each time I done it, it felt better and better.
The whole village was fantastic with me; really supported me, especially through those early days of going out “wearing my scars”.
Well, apart from this one boy, who was a couple of years younger than me. He knew what had happened but could not resist to call me “scar face” every time I passed him. This went on for quite a few years.
At first, I didn’t say anything to him, I was not confident enough but as he kept saying it my confidence grew. I remember going to his mum’s house with a very close friend to explain what was going on (I actually visited a few times). All his mum ever said was that she would have a word with him. It never changed though; he continued to do it; even into my later teens, he just would not let up.
I just basically had to put up with it. If I argued back with him, he would just laugh and call me scar face again. Whatever his mum said obviously had no effect on him. My friends even tried but there was no change.
He did eventually stop but it did take a few years.
I suppose there are just some people that will never see what they are doing is wrong, no matter what we do.
I really hope that this has helped you, especially if you are at the start of your burn journey; remember, one step at a time.
Stay safe, stay strong, and we’ll chat soon.