Hi, you are “face to face with Shell”.
This series of “Comments and Stares” is similar to “When Family/Friends Hurt” with the obvious difference whereby, I talk about people I know; family and friends.
Please click on the link below, where you will be able to access all the links to the whole series:
WHEN FAMILY/FRIENDS HURT: CONCLUSION
Below are links to the other pages in this current series:
Please watch the video below and/or read on:
If you find yourself hurt by what people have said/done to you? How do you deal with it?
As I have said before, it will vary depending on the situation, who the person is, how you are feeling that day, etc.
If you feel strongly about what has happened and if you feel confident enough, you could let the person know that you are not happy about what they have said. You might get physically upset, however, if this happens, let it. Let the person see what effect their words/actions have caused. They then in turn might get upset, however, may then explain their actions; therefore, each may have a better understanding of the other and the situation.
The person may get defensive and turn the situation around; blaming you for being so sensitive. Try not to let this happen, they have no idea what you have gone through to get where you are.
People don’t know your story and what they may not understand is that their actions and words can be really upsetting. It can be upsetting in a number of ways, one example; they could be reminding us of the trauma that we have gone through; as in my case, of the day that my cousin and I were in the gas explosion, and the day that my gran and her friend were killed; the day our lives were changed forever.
Maybe you will find out that the person is hurting and has lashed out at you for no reason, and you find that it has nothing to do with you at all.
We cannot always be prepared for situations; sometimes they will not affect you as bad as other times. Sometimes comments will just run off you and other times they will really get to you.
This is ok; it’s ok to get upset, it’s ok to cry, and it’s ok to get angry. I think the key is to try and learn from it and try not to let it affect you for the rest of the day…easier said than done…I know!
If you feel that you are really down afterwards and you cannot shake the feeling, I would suggest that you speak to someone. A family member or friend; someone you trust. There is help out there, please do not suffer in silence. NEVER think that you are alone.
In the next video, I will try to help you by giving you examples of how to deal with situations that may arise.