BURN SURVIVOR; HURTFUL COMMENTS | facetofacewithshell.com

Hi, you are “face to face with Shell”.

This is Part 5 of the series. I hope that you are finding my website and videos helpful. There are a few more pages to come. Have you seen the previous ones? If not, please click on the links below:

In this series, I am explaining different instances whereby family/friends have made comments to me that have been hurtful.

The next story is one where I believe the person did know what he was saying and indeed was not sorry at all for what he said to me.

Please watch this video and read on:

This instance happened maybe 10 plus years ago (this being 2019) and as I was burned in 1984, I was quite a way into my “journey”, and felt quite confident to go out and about.

I was out in one of my favourite rock pubs with some friends. There was this one “friend”, whereby he and myself were taking turns to buy drinks for each other. When it came to his turn again, he tried to get out of buying the drinks. I answered him back and proved that it was, in fact, his round. He didn’t like this, so said to me: “When was the last time your face was burned”?

I was a bit shocked and taken aback by what he had just said but within a second, I answered him back. I didn’t have to think about what to say to him, it just came out; I replied: “You’re out of order”, as I pointed my finger at him. My now husband, Chris, took me to the bar to get away from this person, as I was upset and slightly embarrassed by what had just happened.

Chris calmed me down and soon made me forget about this person, and his remark, by making some sort of joke and buying me a drink. Chris didn’t mention what this person had said, he just made sure that I wasn’t thinking about it and didn’t let it ruin the night.

Yeah, I am no longer friends with this person. You don’t need that kind of negativity. He wasn’t a nice person I later discovered. I later found out that he had said a lot of nasty things about me and other friends; once referring to a great friend of mine as a “slug”. Of course, you never hear of these things until after you are no longer friends.

So, in this instance, I DID say something and I don’t regret it. It needed to be said. He knew exactly what he was saying and it was a terrible thing to say to me, especially when I was in the company of a few new people. Looking back, I should not have been the one that felt embarrassed…it should have been him.

He never apologised or explained why he said what he did but as I have explained, he was not a nice person and not the sort of person I wanted to be around.

If this has happened to you, again, do you really want a person like this in your life? If you feel that it wasn’t meant and you still want to be around them, maybe ask why they said what they did? Explain why it hurt you and give them a chance to explain themselves. You can then decide if you still want them in your life or not. I just thought; “why would a friend say something like this to me”?

Again, as I have said before; it is ok to be angry or hurt but try not to hang onto these feelings for too long. It is not nice when anything like this is said to you, especially by a so called “friend” but you can get over it. To be honest, it is a reflection of them and not you; try to bear this in mind.

Stay strong, you CAN do this.

We’ll chat soon.