Hi, you are “face to face with Shell”.
I am going to stay with the same very close family member that I spoke about in the last video: “When Family/Friends Hurt (Part 6)”.
Please click on the links below if you haven’t seen “Part 6” and/or the rest of the pages/videos in this series:
WHEN FAMILY/FRIENDS HURT (PART 1)
WHEN FAMILY/FRIENDS HURT (PART 2)
WHEN FAMILY/FRIENDS HURT (PART 3)
WHEN FAMILY/FRIENDS HURT (PART 4)
WHEN FAMILY/FRIENDS HURT (PART 5)
WHEN FAMILY/FRIENDS HURT (PART 6)
Please watch this video and read on for more of the story:
My husband and I were having a get together with a couple of family members and this very close family member commented on someone who I look up to in a very big way. They have overcome enormous adversity and came out the other side. They have been on television a lot and this family member said to me: “Yeah, she really annoys me. She is always on the television doing this and that”. She kept going on about what this person was doing and how she thought that it was unnecessary!
This person whom I admire, started up her own charity and has made a HUGE difference to many peoples lives, she does amazing work.
This very close family member said that this person is always “out there” and that she was the head of her own charity. Eh, YEAH! I mean, who better to head a “disfigurement/burn” charity, than the person who started it and as they have been disfigured themselves, they are the PERFECT person for the job.
I tried to explain this but she was having none of it, she just kept shaking her head and waving her hand at me, dismissing me, as if I had no idea what I was talking about.
I was like; “huh”? I have actually met this person and have done some work with their charity, and this specific family member knew this. I honestly could not believe what I was hearing.
I then said that this person to me and to thousands of others, was amazing, and that every charity needs a figure head, and who better than the person we were discussing?
I then explained what this person had been through and that I understood. I gave her a couple of examples. She kept shaking her head at me. I was getting really annoyed by this time. I asked why she was shaking her head? I mean, come on, I knew what I was talking about …I had been through a similar experience…I knew something of how this person felt.
She got told to be quiet by another family member. I had to try and make a joke/light of the situation or I was going to get really angry. How dare someone say this about another person who had been through so much. I replied: “No, no, please keep going, this is all content”…and here I am talking about it to you! Lol.
I have explained before about the “family dynamics” and I really wanted to tackle the situation properly this time, as it wasn’t that long after “the bomb” statement had been made but at least I did say something.
In this instance, I didn’t have to think about my reply, it just came out (when I asked why was she shaking her head?). I know I said in the last video about asking the person to explain what they had said but there was just no talking to this family member at this time, even after I had tried to explain about the great work that the person was doing. Further discussion was going to lead nowhere, this person was just not going to listen…this time…lol (sometimes, things don’t go to plan).
IF THIS SITUATION HAPPENS AGAIN…WHAT SHOULD I DO?
I WILL TRY THE FOLLOWING:
As I said in the last video; I need to ask them to repeat what they have said and then ask them to explain what they meant by it, and let them do the explaining, without me over-talking.
Once they have explained, I then need to explain my feelings; how these comments are hurtful and inappropriate, and ask them to have some thought of what people, like myself and others like me, have to go through on a daily basis.
It is difficult, especially if it is someone who is close to you but as I said, next time I shall deal with it properly…watch this space…lol.
Stay strong!
We’ll chat soon.