Hi, you are “face to face with Shell”.
You can either watch the video below or read on:
Everyone is different (as I keep saying, I know) these are just my personal experiences and hopefully by sharing them, I will help you with whatever you are going through/have gone through.
I was involved in a gas explosion, whilst on holiday in Spain. I remember the explosion happening. Some people do not remember what happened to them…some were maybe too young to remember. I am glad that I can remember. I am not saying that it was easy remembering, it going through my head again and again to start with, or seeing it happening every time I closed my eyes, or having nightmares and flashbacks but I am glad that I remember; I know why I look like this.
I am going to talk about how I got past the way I felt about the place where the explosion happened. It took place in a very popular holiday resort in Spain. Anytime anyone mentioned the name of the place “Lloret de Mar”, I would flinch and I would really not like hearing the name being spoken. It filled me with dread.
My husband, who is a trained therapist in many fields, decided to help me to think differently about “my accident”; to help my mind to think differently when I heard the name “Lloret de Mar”, and help me not to flinch.
He taught me that it was only a place. It wasn’t its fault that it happened to me. It was just a place. It was a second out of my life (yeah, a second that would change my life forever) but still, only a second.
We have had to attend court in Spain relating to the “accident”. On the second occasion, it was in a town quite near to where the explosion took place. Chris said: “After the trial, we should take a holiday to Lloret de Mar”. He said, “I want you to have good memories of the place”. So after the trial, we booked a two week holiday, to help “retrain my brain”, so when I thought of Lloret de Mar, I thought of it as a good place. We had a great time. I really enjoyed it, therefore; I had made different memories of a place that I had once dreaded even hearing the name of.
We were also doing a bit of digging around the area (as we totally feel that there has been a massive cover-up regarding the explosion) visiting the local library, etc., to see if anyone could remember anything. Everyone was amazing with us. We had a newspaper clipping (the court reporter interviewed us after the trial and he had written a very good story) and everyone was very interested in what had happened. I was trying to find out if there was anyone who knew the people that had helped us that day. Unfortunately, to this day, we have not been able to find anyone. We did know of one man, the one who came with the fire extinguisher, who was the first into the apartment after it exploded but were told that he never wanted to talk about it or meet us. This man is a hero.
How the apart/hotel looks now (2017).
We found out where the apartments were. They are now in a state of disrepair. It felt very strange seeing them. We went into a bar across the road, where the manager was amazing with us. Again, very interested in the story but he had only been there for the last 20 years, not long enough to know anything about it. We watched school children climb the wall and we discovered, through watching them, how to get into the grounds and into the building itself.
Chris had said that, if I was up to it, it would probably be a good idea for me to go inside. I was not sure that day. I did lay flowers for my gran and her friend who were killed in the explosion.
We went back to the bar the next day, where again, the staff were lovely with us. We had a great afternoon with them and met a couple of Scottish girls. We were telling them the story and they agreed, that I should go in. They said that they wanted to go in with us. They bought a bottle of wine and we ventured in. I was struggling to get over the wall, saying to Chris: “I don’t think I can get over it”, he said to me: “Yes you can”. He pulled at the back of my shorts and got me over”. It was very strange but I managed to find out where the reception was and retraced my steps to the apartment where I thought the explosion “might” have happened. We all went inside and had a toast to my gran and her friend. I had kicked those demons back to hell.
The building was just a shell and I think this made it easier for me to go in, knowing that there was no gas running through it…lol.
I shall be forever grateful to the people that helped us that day and for the people who helped me get back into the apartments after all those years; those girls and Chris, and all the other people of the town who were so friendly and helpful.
We actually have a few great friends in Lloret now; just by going around asking for help and by trying to track down our heroes, has in turn, made us new friends.
We have been back to the town a few times, I now love Lloret de Mar. It is a beautiful, vibrant, and friendly place. I am so glad, that with the help of Chris and our new friends, I now feel totally different. I even felt a bit sad looking at the shell of the apartments, not because of my “accident” but because it did look sad; of what once was, as at one time, I am sure there were many happy memories made there.
There is life after burns/disfigurement and it can be an amazing life.
I’m not saying that everyone will be able to “revisit their past” or indeed, will want to. All I am saying is that it helped me and I was glad that I was given the opportunity to revisit the explosion site. Remember, this was many, many years after the explosion. I am not sure if I could have done it just a few years afterwards. Well, in saying that, we did have to go back to the court in Spain (for the first time) just two years after the explosion, we did stay in Lloret and did see the apartments from a distance. What I mean is; I am not sure I could have gone back to the apartments the way I did, just a few years after the explosion.
It took a long while for me to go back abroad on holiday. My cousin done it just a couple of years after she was burned and I really don’t know how she managed. She went back to an apartment, with gas! Well done! She said it was very hard and that she was frightened a few times, especially when one of the women of the group decided to make a roast chicken for the next day’s dinner, and it was in the gas oven overnight.
It took me about ten years after the explosion to go back abroad on holiday. I never thought that I would go back to Spain, never mind love the place where the explosion actually happened.
When I did think the time was right to go back abroad, it was to Portugal. It was to an apart/hotel; meaning that it had a small kitchen. I was so paranoid that I asked the travel agent to make sure that there was no gas in the apartment and no gas around where I could see. They very kindly obliged and called the apart/hotel to make sure. I would do this with every hotel/apartment I went to abroad for years to come…I am not so bad now…lol.
I had a great holiday and met some lifelong friends there. Only thing to spoil it was the bus crash on our way back from a water park called “Slide and Splash”, only to be renamed by my mate “Slide and Smash”. He kept everyone’s humour going. We were lucky that we were not hurt but others were. We reckoned that the driver was drunk and he smashed into a tree by the roadside, some large branches came in through the windows and ripped a few out. Most injuries were cuts and people covered in glass, which was in their eyes, etc., not nice at all.
After that, I thought I was doomed…would I ever have a great holiday abroad? I tried one more time; the next year I went to Fuerteventura, one of the Canary Islands. I had a great time. The curse had been broken, lol. I am not sure what I would have done if something happened on that holiday, lol.
After my discharge from hospital, I was still very fearful of gas/fire. I was lucky that my family home had no gas in it but I was very wary if I had to go to a house that did have gas. Even if someone struck a match near me, I was frightened and for me to strike a match was a no go area. The very thought of fire being that close put total fear into me.
I am still a bit wary of gas. About ten years ago, Chris and I rented a large static caravan in York, England. It was beautiful and we really enjoyed our holiday. Of course, it had gas in it. It was very modern and I had no reason to feel ill at ease in the caravan but I did. Every little noise from the gas had me on edge. Again, Chris came to the rescue. He let me listen to the different noises of the gas and the boiler, and reassured me that it was going to be ok. After the first night I was fine.
I am just trying to point out that it’s ok to be afraid of what hurt you but it is also really good to face these fears head on and try to tackle them.
Stay safe, stay strong, and we’ll chat soon.
If you would would like to see the next page, please click on the link below:
GOING BACK TO THE APARTMENTS AND LOVING LLORET